I am an introverted and camara shy woman. People meet me and see the fire in my personality and mistake it for extroverted-ness. I can do it. The crowds. The people even when it's over peoply (yes Imade that word up!) ... but then I go back into my shell. I go back into my imagination and rest there. My imagination is home.

My godfather was a wonderful photographer, and I dabbled a little but only with black and white images. I loved the pure, rawness of no color to distract from what was in front of me. With color gone I can see the nooks and crannies of where life is happening on the fringes of me standing in that moment at that time to capture that exact moment.

I essentially hold the camera up to capture the mirror my own soul. The reflection of how the world gives me time to see it fully, unencumbered and freely. So many moments are missed by simply not looking up. I lament for the mirrors of life and moments we never see because we are so plugged into technology.
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I aspire to be more mindful. To be more aware. To simple BE then capture it for posterity. 

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #MirrorsLensesPhotgraphs

For 8 years after my Mama became an ancestor, I shaved my head. I mean down to the scalp at 2 am in the morning on most occasions. That always felt like the sacred time to do it.

It wasn't because my hair wouldn't grow (even though stress gave me moments of stress induced alopecia), it was because hair seemed to matter the least and take time away from what made me feel like I was living.

I wanted more time to spend with family, create new artworks I'd dreamed of time to write, time to read, time to just BE with nature. Hair absolutely did not feel of any significance or importance when my mama left this earthly plain. 

She and I had had our disagreements and viewpoints of the world, but she birthed me from her womb and heart. Who was I to not acknowledge her sacrifices for allowing me to come into being? I'm now growing an Angela Davis fro' in between artistically cultured braids...but who knows when life will require a quiet release and an outward sacrifice for my own becoming. Again, I will be willing. 
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#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #WingsShakingFree

"Have you ever fought a bear, wrestled an alligator or been wrapped too tightly by a boa constrictor? Yeah...me neither but life hands you circumstance that makes me feel like choosing the bear, alligator or boa constrictor! 

Transformation happens in the oddest and not obvious spaces or times. Sometimes I resist even when it is futile and I'm left in this cycle of repeating because I didn't get the lesson the first time. I'm not going to lie...it sucks!

I want forward. I want ease. I want journeying and life goes "Watch this!".  That statement never is as fun as when a child says, "watch this!" and then performs some skip, hop and turn that is funnier to them than it is to the observers. 

I stand 10 toes down with belief in my gifts, talents and abilities and in those moments where the lesson is revisited, it can reduce me to my lesser self of disbelief. It leaves me asking if everything that I'm made of is real or just a mirage and that space is more terrifying than the bear, alligator and boa constrictor all combined together. ​

I hate to admit it but, on those days, filled with self- doubt...if approached by a bear and a repeated lesson....I choose the bear!

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #10ToesDown

You can never name me without my permission. 

There is a quote I love by activist Audre Lorde..."If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive".

I will never allow myself to be eaten alive by others viewpoints and thoughts of me. I am absolutely unapologetically Kottavei. 

I am an artist, author, artivist, maker, food nerd, conduit, intellectual badass, ambassador of joy, visual griot, nerd, hula hooper, entrepreneur and SO much more. Oftentimes, people who meet me and get a glimmer of all the thing I do to bring light into this chaotic world, they ask me "What do you NOT do?. My response is always the same: "I'll let you know when I find out". 

Am I great at all of that? Of course not! But to I trust myself to be fearless and try everything my heart desires? Yes! Why yes I do.​ I am a wildflower among roses that still fully blooms.

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #ARoseByAnyOtherName

The fact that I was standing at The Golden Triangle doesn't matter so much. It is a place in the world where 3 countries intersect and touch. Thailand, Laos and Myanmar meet, greet and stand together at this sweet spot.

Somehow, reflecting on this photo gives me a snapshot of my own life standing at the intersection of who I was, who I am and who I'm becoming! I am in my own triangle, probably less golden and more vibrant yellow. 

I have lived in my head, daydreaming, imagining, visualizing, speaking it into existence and of course, writing it down in great detail. That is the past. Currently, I am releasing, believing, activating and moving forward on indulgent choices towards creating the life I desire for myself. That life is on the horizon and I am traveling towards it at warp speed!

Six months to a year from now I hope not to recognize this current life I'm in because what comes next is SO filled with love, ease, comfort, creativity, travel, friendship, blessings and BEING! Much like the body becomes new every 7-10 years...I am being made new in this nex 7- 10 months! I invoke the resilience of my ancestors and call it into being. Ase!
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#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #TheGoldenTriangle

In 2024 while waiting for my person in life, I decided to romanticize my life. I did all the things I'd want someone who loved me to do for me....and in doing so, I realized I am of the love of my own life!

I keep flowers in my bedroom; I take myself to dinner sometimes in other countries because I gift me travel. I read romantic books while sipping coffee on my front porch watching the sun rise (or set) and listen to the birds sing. I wear decadent exotic perfumes and cook amazing international meals served beautifully for me.

​I blow kisses into the wind so they can land gently on my cheek. I blow bubbles and dance freely as if no one is watching and if they are, so what. I still dance! I luxuriate in the essence of me simply being.

Who am I to give love others so deeply and meaningful, if I don't dare to give that same level of love to myself?  By giving what I desire, I have received love deeper that I've ever known and I'm grateful for this loving self as I embark on this spiritual journey home to my next self. Whoever I m becoming I love her deeply already and look forward to knowing her better.

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #RomanticizeYourOwnLife

Nomad. That single word whispers to my heart what I have already known...I belong to everywhere. I am a citizen of the world. There is nowhere that I can't call home.

I remember flipping through national Geographic magazines and watching PBS specials, telling myself that one day I will be there among the Thai monks meditating, Ndebele women with their beadwork and the molas sitting in the laps of San Blas women as they stitch.

What a wonderous joy to know that I've done some of this with more coming. I sit at the hem of all the cultures eagerly wanting to know more. Ravenous for the tender connection of newness.

As I move through this world, I see myself in the smile of Morocco, the laughter of Portugal and the kindness of Peru. These gifts belong to me and light rain hitting a soft patch of earth, it splashes joy into the desert spaces of my spirit, soaking me with understanding...everywhere I go, I see a fresh part of who I'm becoming. 

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #EverywhereIGoThereIAm

If you truly know me, you know how much I love the sun...so much so that I birthed 5 of them. "Son"shines are what I call my progeny. If ever there is a light to be seen, it's them through my own eyes.

I have not been a perfect mama, but I think I've been a good one with what I was charged with. Me who can barely keep a plant alive and daydreams of infinite freedom. I was able, with support of my community to raise these beautiful humans to adulthood, standing in their full light. 

They may be one of the best things I've ever done. When I speak of all my accomplishments, I think of my art, books and travels...but if you want to know who I am and what I've done and who I've been and where I've yet to go, please stare into the light of my "son"shines! It's brilliant just like them.
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​#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #Sonshines

So, every day on my way driving I see a large billboard from a local church. The church name doesn't matter so much as the message I see. It says "Don't stop. You are almost there."

So after a few days I starting asking after seeing this message daily "Where god, WHERE?!" If I am not where I'm supposed to be then where should I be. What place, space or circumstance am I missing or avoiding my being in the wrong place? 

Last week for the first time I heard clearly, as if someone was sitting in the passenger seat of my car "NOT HERE!". I abruptly slowed down, shook my head and heard it again. I daydream a lot so I'm used to hearing the whisperings of ancestors or excitable thoughts from my own imagination.

So now my journey is at full pivot. My place in the world is on full tilt and I'm freefalling hoping to land where I'm meant to be right now, in this moment while I plan for the next one. Everything is is much clearer, brighter and in beautiful flux.
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​#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #WhereGodWhere

I've met a lot of people in my life as I've travelled and I love it when people want to assume I am much like them. Maybe through their belief practice, as a mother, or creative connection, the level of achievements I've acquired or something as simple as tea vs coffee. They see connection in me.

I learned that the presumption of being more alike than different is prevalent rather than the opposite of choosing to identify differences! Friendships have been forged, connections have been made and love has been given freely by strangers who simply chose to "see" me instead of judging my being.

This limited time pass we get to have a human experience as spiritual beings, has a time limit. We will expire at some point in a random season, and I love to imagine that I've done enough to say I was here and my presence matter to the lives of others. Through my art, writing, creative endeavors and whispered prayers written in the sky during meditations, breathing the vibration of om, I want to believe that the generations after me will lean in closer themselves. Embrace all that is seemingly different and find sameness. 

​#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #TheOMFactor