You can never name me without my permission. 

There is a quote I love by activist Audre Lorde..."If I didn't define myself for myself, I would be crunched into other people's fantasies for me and eaten alive".

I will never allow myself to be eaten alive by others viewpoints and thoughts of me. I am absolutely unapologetically Kottavei. 

I am an artist, author, artivist, maker, food nerd, conduit, intellectual badass, ambassador of joy, visual griot, nerd, hula hooper, entrepreneur and SO much more. Oftentimes, people who meet me and get a glimmer of all the thing I do to bring light into this chaotic world, they ask me "What do you NOT do?. My response is always the same: "I'll let you know when I find out". 

Am I great at all of that? Of course not! But to I trust myself to be fearless and try everything my heart desires? Yes! Why yes I do.​ I am a wildflower among roses that still fully blooms.

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #ARoseByAnyOtherName

The fact that I was standing at The Golden Triangle doesn't matter so much. It is a place in the world where 3 countries intersect and touch. Thailand, Laos and Myanmar meet, greet and stand together at this sweet spot.

Somehow, reflecting on this photo gives me a snapshot of my own life standing at the intersection of who I was, who I am and who I'm becoming! I am in my own triangle, probably less golden and more vibrant yellow. 

I have lived in my head, daydreaming, imagining, visualizing, speaking it into existence and of course, writing it down in great detail. That is the past. Currently, I am releasing, believing, activating and moving forward on indulgent choices towards creating the life I desire for myself. That life is on the horizon and I am traveling towards it at warp speed!

Six months to a year from now I hope not to recognize this current life I'm in because what comes next is SO filled with love, ease, comfort, creativity, travel, friendship, blessings and BEING! Much like the body becomes new every 7-10 years...I am being made new in this nex 7- 10 months! I invoke the resilience of my ancestors and call it into being. Ase!
​
#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #TheGoldenTriangle

In 2024 while waiting for my person in life, I decided to romanticize my life. I did all the things I'd want someone who loved me to do for me....and in doing so, I realized I am of the love of my own life!

I keep flowers in my bedroom; I take myself to dinner sometimes in other countries because I gift me travel. I read romantic books while sipping coffee on my front porch watching the sun rise (or set) and listen to the birds sing. I wear decadent exotic perfumes and cook amazing international meals served beautifully for me.

​I blow kisses into the wind so they can land gently on my cheek. I blow bubbles and dance freely as if no one is watching and if they are, so what. I still dance! I luxuriate in the essence of me simply being.

Who am I to give love others so deeply and meaningful, if I don't dare to give that same level of love to myself?  By giving what I desire, I have received love deeper that I've ever known and I'm grateful for this loving self as I embark on this spiritual journey home to my next self. Whoever I m becoming I love her deeply already and look forward to knowing her better.

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #RomanticizeYourOwnLife

Nomad. That single word whispers to my heart what I have already known...I belong to everywhere. I am a citizen of the world. There is nowhere that I can't call home.

I remember flipping through national Geographic magazines and watching PBS specials, telling myself that one day I will be there among the Thai monks meditating, Ndebele women with their beadwork and the molas sitting in the laps of San Blas women as they stitch.

What a wonderous joy to know that I've done some of this with more coming. I sit at the hem of all the cultures eagerly wanting to know more. Ravenous for the tender connection of newness.

As I move through this world, I see myself in the smile of Morocco, the laughter of Portugal and the kindness of Peru. These gifts belong to me and light rain hitting a soft patch of earth, it splashes joy into the desert spaces of my spirit, soaking me with understanding...everywhere I go, I see a fresh part of who I'm becoming. 

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #EverywhereIGoThereIAm

If you truly know me, you know how much I love the sun...so much so that I birthed 5 of them. "Son"shines are what I call my progeny. If ever there is a light to be seen, it's them through my own eyes.

I have not been a perfect mama, but I think I've been a good one with what I was charged with. Me who can barely keep a plant alive and daydreams of infinite freedom. I was able, with support of my community to raise these beautiful humans to adulthood, standing in their full light. 

They may be one of the best things I've ever done. When I speak of all my accomplishments, I think of my art, books and travels...but if you want to know who I am and what I've done and who I've been and where I've yet to go, please stare into the light of my "son"shines! It's brilliant just like them.
​
​#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #Sonshines

So, every day on my way driving I see a large billboard from a local church. The church name doesn't matter so much as the message I see. It says "Don't stop. You are almost there."

So after a few days I starting asking after seeing this message daily "Where god, WHERE?!" If I am not where I'm supposed to be then where should I be. What place, space or circumstance am I missing or avoiding my being in the wrong place? 

Last week for the first time I heard clearly, as if someone was sitting in the passenger seat of my car "NOT HERE!". I abruptly slowed down, shook my head and heard it again. I daydream a lot so I'm used to hearing the whisperings of ancestors or excitable thoughts from my own imagination.

So now my journey is at full pivot. My place in the world is on full tilt and I'm freefalling hoping to land where I'm meant to be right now, in this moment while I plan for the next one. Everything is is much clearer, brighter and in beautiful flux.
​
​#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #WhereGodWhere

I've met a lot of people in my life as I've travelled and I love it when people want to assume I am much like them. Maybe through their belief practice, as a mother, or creative connection, the level of achievements I've acquired or something as simple as tea vs coffee. They see connection in me.

I learned that the presumption of being more alike than different is prevalent rather than the opposite of choosing to identify differences! Friendships have been forged, connections have been made and love has been given freely by strangers who simply chose to "see" me instead of judging my being.

This limited time pass we get to have a human experience as spiritual beings, has a time limit. We will expire at some point in a random season, and I love to imagine that I've done enough to say I was here and my presence matter to the lives of others. Through my art, writing, creative endeavors and whispered prayers written in the sky during meditations, breathing the vibration of om, I want to believe that the generations after me will lean in closer themselves. Embrace all that is seemingly different and find sameness. 

​#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #TheOMFactor

Be the gift you'd love to be given. I have this saying I use often "I give me what I want because I love her". "Her" is me. If asked to name all of the people you love in your life, how long would it take to say your own name?  I say mine daily in meditation if only in my mind.

I forget how wonderful I am until someone sees me and speaks in how interesting they find me. Total, sincere shock every single time. I think I'm boring. Have you met the you that you present to others. Do you like you? Do you love you? Would you want to receive you as a gift?

Maybe because I've gotten used to the ebb & flow of my life. Maybe because the mundane has become my normal. But maybe because I don't always fully see then acknowledge the robust, fullness of my being expressed aloud. 

When I leave my house I typically choose the level of want to do it. Am I going out as a flicker, a flame or a supernova? It will always be some semblance of light though. Some days, even in by boringness, my quiet light is too loud and bright for the world around me. I asked my friend what is less light, less fire than a flicker and he said that I smolder. Smolder! On the ready to burst into a full flame of light at any moment! So now when go into the world wanting to move through a bit softer, quieter and still fully myself, a gift, wrapped gently for others to embrace.... I smolder. 
​
​#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #HaveYouMetYOU

For the last 12 years, green has been my favorite color. I was a seed being planted, then incubating until my time had past. I was watered and sun called out to me in it's warmth. I stretched and leaned closer to what felt like tenderness. I took my time...becoming who I was going towards being and simultaneously shedding the skin of who I was.

Then without warning or expectation, in that time I began to bloom!

I was drawn to the blue of the sky and the quiet, clear whisper of the wind and then finally YELLOW! Warm yellow calling me out fully from my comfort zone. Teasing the seedling of who I was daring to be. A creative bloom, on a thriving vine, meant to transform into a perennial flower of curiosity.

When I see warm yellow now, I lean in and bask in the glow acknowledging it as same feeling the sun gave when I was trying to break through the soil. 

#Kottaveiinflux #KottaveInResidence #CreativePeace #BlackWomen #SacredSpace #Dreams #IncubateGrowEvolve #ColorOfMe #GreenAndYellow